Ebb and Flow of Motivation

Level of motivation through one week:

Sunday 5/7: Woke up pleasantly surprised by how many people watched a 17-minute long video about how I make looping covers. Filmed a comedic short with a friend. We laughed a lot and I felt like what we were making was going to be awesome and would lead to lots more cool stuff. MOTIVATION: UP

Monday 5/8: Watched the funny footage from the day before and had to come to terms with my gear not being able to accomplish what my brain envisions. DOWN Reminded myself that I’m still new and I’m learning, every video will be better than the last. UP

That night I went to a YouTube class and had a great idea for another comedic short, but that one would be a logistical/production nightmare, the exact thing I need to avoid until my channel is big enough to bring in people who know how to do that stuff well. UP for writing, DOWN for producing

Tuesday 5/9: Published a birthday week-in review vlog, had to come to terms with the fact that my viewership per video seems to be on a steady decline (though overall my subscriber count continues to grow). Mostly DOWN.

Dyed my hair on a whim and watched a bunch of vlogs from people who know what they’re doing, got REALLY excited about trying the stuff they were doing. Ordered a better mic online. UPUP Got a phone call with some really bad news and had to drop everything and run out the door. VERY DOWN

Wednesday 5/10: woke up exhausted, played guitar and sang kids’ songs for a pretend 45 minute birthday party to show the woman hiring me for that job that I am ready for the job. It went well. Too tired to determine if I’m UP or DOWN.

Thursday 5/11: Thought I’d have to skip my looping cover today because of the change in plans this week, but I actually recorded and posted Super Freak in less than an hour (maybe a record?). UP and excited to spend the weekend with my sister with NOTHING urgent on my to-do list.

Friday 5/12: It was a little chilly, but otherwise it was the perfect day to play around NYC with my sister. We ended the night with the new musical Groundhog Day and it was AWESOME. It had a lot of very original and creative elements I haven’t seen before I was excited to see how they might inspire some changes in my work. UP

Saturday 5/13: It was rainy and cold and my sister wasn’t feeling great (she hates cold weather and her allergies were not happy with New York). I also worried that I’d gotten my hopes too high for Saturday Night Live. Seeing the show is awesome, but my very active imagination had already pictured every possible scenario that ended with me hanging and becoming BFFs with everyone in the show. Felt DOWN thinking about how disappointed I might feel after something that should only make me feel UP.

I reminded myself that just seeing the show and leaving would be awesome, I get to share the experience with my sister which is pretty cool, and I live in New York City and have a line of communication with Leslie so it’s not like this is the day where everything has to happen. I can become BFFs with them all next week, today is just about having fun with my sister. I also took a nap. UP

The show was awesome. I did not get to meet Leslie in person or take a picture on the stage but I felt totally okay about it. She did message me saying she had to take off as soon as it was over and thanked me for coming to the show. WAY UP

Sunday 5/14: Had brunch with my sister and watched her ride to the airport in a cab. UP because we had a great weekend and I get to see her (and her kids) again in ten days. Came home, sorted out some video we shot together, feeling excited about editing it tomorrow but also wishing I had more skilled production people to help get my story across. Overall feeling right now: UP.

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